Hi again, my apologies to my readers. I have been quiet busy preparing for a workshop next week and there was a lot of typing involved (something that’s is quite time consuming for me). I hope to have some more time now to continue blogging. So let’s get back to our journey through my 2020 pre-corona virus days. Again this blog will follow on the previous one.
The day after my time trial that did not go as planned was a rest day before our road races. The first priority was to get my bike ready for the race. Initially we though that we had to go back to the bicycle shop to get a bolt to keep my back wheel on, but thankfully Janine had an extra bolt from Goldy’s old bike and she let me use it for the next two days. I was immensely grateful to them for letting me use it. Sometime during the morning I got on my bicycle and cycled around the resort to make sure my wheels were ok. With my bike sorted, my aunt booked a boat trip on a local dam for her and myself. I wasn’t too keen to go as it is not what I wanted to do for my morning off but as my aunt was supporting me all week I thought it was just the right thing to do to go with her to do something that she wanted to do.
Upon our return to the resort we had lunch and I wanted to go rest so that I was ready for my race the next day. My aunt went to town to collect my bike box as we had discovered that we would not be able to get my bike to the place where they were going to dissemble my bike on the Saturday after the racing because other races were taking place. During my rest three or four other paracyclists and Janine had gathered on our stoep and were just taking time to socialize. There were voices I didn’t recognize so I decided to get up and join them.
There were a few new guys at nationals this year as part as the paracycling community and some of the riders that we hadn’t seen at champs for the last few years were back. I realized this the first day when Janine and I had sat with our booklets. Usually there were between 6 to 9 paracyclists at Nationals and this year there were seventeen of us ! While I was excited to see so many cyclists at SA’s , I had to have a good giggle. If I remember correctly there was also such a big increase of athletes in 2016 – the last Olympic year 2020 was, at that stage, an Olympic/Paralympic year so everyone wanted to put their hands up and say ‘please pick me’. Sadly unbeknownst to most, the amount of Paralympic slots for South Africa and other countries were pretty much decided on by the end of last year. Many people do not know the way things work and think they can just do SA’s at the start of the Olympic year and then stand a chance to be chosen for the Olympics. I actually find it quite sad that more athletes do not know how to qualify for competitions as I find they often have false hope.
Let me give a quick explanation about the slots based on my limited knowledge. Each country is allocated a certain amount of Paralympic slots for athletes in a sport. Athletes amass points in competitions such as World Championships and World Cups. Although these points allow the individual athletes to win World Cup Series and to be ranked on the UCI World rankings, the points earned as far as slots for the Paralympics goes to the country instead of the individual athletes and are accumulated over the three years since the last Paralympics. So for instance, my participation in two World Cups and the World Champs in 2019 earned me individual points to be ranked 4th on the World rankings. But when it comes to Paralympics, the points that I have amassed don’t go to me but rather to South Africa and then the selectors can choose whomever they want within the gender classification to go to the Paralympics. Therefore by the end of the year preceding the Olympics, slots are mostly allocated with just a few slots available for distribution in the year of the Paralympics. Because for the last three or four years South Africa had such a small team going to overseas competitions to participate due to the fact that the SA athletes had to fund their own training and travel/competition expenses, only two slots for men and one slot for women were allocated to South Africa. Personally I think these slots should go to the athletes who have put the hard yards in and have competed for the last few years. I think that is how they decide, but I get the idea that other/newer paracyclists don’t understand this.
Let’s get back to my story of Nationals. I got up from my rest and just enjoyed being with like-minded people. SA Champs is the only competition where all the paracyclists get together and often after the races we use the time to reconnect and meet new friends. Sitting with Goldy, Janine and one or two others I felt really privileged and relieved. A few hours earlier I had received one of the biggest emails of my life. I had received an email from Cycling SA head office that SASCOC had chosen me as one of the athletes that they would put on their Special Support Program!! After the previous day’s dreadful race and years’ of self funding my training and tours, the fact that I was going to be partially funded by SASCOC was huge for me. Although I wasn’t chosen for the full OPEX program, the funding that they were promising would fund half of my trip to Europe for the World Cup at the end of May and the World Champs at the beginning of June. I knew that being accepted onto the programme did not mean I would necessarily be in the final team for the Paralympics but it did tell me that I was a real contender and that I had a chance – a chance that I didn’t think I would ever have had just a month ago. It also calmed my nerves about not being able to really race in the time trial.
While we chatted and just enjoyed the afternoon we were able to watch the ‘abled bodied’ men race their criterium within the resort. Our cottage was actually right on the edge of the one road they were using, so we could just sit on our stoep and watch the races. After that the rest of the afternoon and evening was a quiet affair as we prepared for the next day’s race.
Saturday we had a very early start. Racing started at 06:30. While we were getting ready and warming up the new president of Cycling SA was around and I was keen to meet her. I had heard from various people in my cycling circle that they thought she was the right person for the position at this time. So I was delighted to see her come out and support us as riders. She came to introduce herself to me just before I got on my trike. I always find it nice to meet the leaders of the organisation you belong to as from then on you can picture the person from whom the emails and instructions come. Often the paracyclists, or any person with a disability, are treated as second class citizens so it was nice to see Ciska at our start as well.
I was the last of the riders to set off. As it was just me in the women’s race I asked the organizers to let me start with the two male riders (even though I knew I would not be able to keep up with them for more than a few meters because not only were they men but also T2s (a class above me), but the organizers said we had to stick to the rules. Thankfully all the supporters and officials stayed around to see me off, unlike when I often cross the finish line and everyone seems to ‘have left the building ‘ LOL. (This even happens at international races. I must learn to finish faster ;-) )
Being the only participant in the race for my class, and knowing that all the others were at least a few minutes ahead, I knew I couldn’t catch anyone and would be riding solo for the next 22km, so once again I turned my road race into a time trial. At first I thought I could try and challenge my time trial time because it was so slow due to my mechanical problem. I thought it was a bit too ambitious as I was doing an extra seven kilometres but then when you are on the road all by yourself for so long you need to play a few mind games with yourself to keep the motivation up. I was glad that the organizers had started us early in the morning and not in the heat of the day as for our time trial. Another positive for me was we were racing on the same route as two days before, except for the additional kilometres, so I felt comfortable. To say I remember the whole race would be a lie. But I definitely remember the last kilometre or two.
As I was finishing some of the other cyclists were warming up or practicing and encouraged me to keep going. I rounded the corner and saw one particular orange jersey moving up and down along the road. I just knew who that was! The dreamer in me had my feet suddenly moving faster so that I could make a dream of mine come true – riding my bike next to Ashleigh Moolman Pasio , but as she disappeared around a corner reality hit that never in my life would I be able to reel in Ashleigh! Dream on Toni! Maybe it was the fatigue playing with my mind. My only hope was to see her around the area after the race as I have done a few times in the past. With the orange jersey (aka my carrot to chase) gone it was me and the motorbike behind me for the last few hundred meters. When the steel barriers came into sight I knew I was almost home. But wait! What is that? the orange jersey is waiting behind the barriers, cheering me on!! Almost the same as riding with her, but not quite.
Ashleigh, I tried to send you a message through social media after SA’s but don’t know if you ever saw it, I never did find you again after I crossed the line. I wanted to thank you for cheering me on. As a woman in a predominantly man’s sport (or that’s how I experience it because for most of the tours we go on I am the only woman on the team) to have you cheer me on in the home stretch was so encouraging and something special for me. The way you compete on the world stage for SA but remain humble and down to earth is an inspiration. Thank you for taking a few precious moments out of your warm up time to see me finish.
After I finished the race, we decided to wait and watch as the other hand cycles made their way home but in hindsight it wasn’t the best idea as we were caught out when it suddenly began to rain leaving me drenched!
After the races, we had our medal ceremony together with some socializing before we returned to our accommodation to start packing for the return trip home. I want to thank Ricky who came on Saturday night to pack my trike. Sunday morning we headed back to Hoedspruit to return the car we hired and then catch the bus back to Johannesburg.
This brings me to the end of my blogs of SA Champs but not the end of the story. Myy next blog will be about readjusting goals.